Eye am Dakini Marusya

From Stripper to Dakini

Ever since I was born into this body I felt a subtle call of something mystical, wild and ancient. Around 14 years of age I began exploring this call... As I was very naive to the societal structures of this world I got myself into very traumatic and confusing experiences especially surrounding my sexuality. Throughout my teenage years I felt extremely isolated. I wanted to express myself and to innerstand myself... yet I kept getting taken advantage of by boys, was absolutely despised by girls and demonized by my family. This is when I came across twerking and instantly fell in love. It was a very natural attraction.. I began teaching myself. Every night I would turn off the lights in my room and immerse myself into twerk rituals. Back then I did not even comprehend how important those rituals were to me. 

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From 14 to 21 I went down into the underworld of how this society views women. I started off as a naive girl wanting to push the boundaries of what was "allowed" and to find myself. The limitations and programs of this realm did not make any sense to me. I was seeking the source of that mystical call I have been feeling all my life. Of course, because I did not yet innerstand myself nor how to protect myself I was instantly targeted by the hungry, thirsty boys brainwashed by this world to use me and then judge me for it. I did not innerstand... I did not know how to say no. And the concepts of judging women for their sexuality felt very foreign and strange to me. I saw how attracted these boys were to me, yet they humiliated me, hated me even. I mistook their lust for love. Their need to dominate for admiration. It all started with me wanting to fit in in a group of "bad boys"... next thing I knew I was the "hoe" of the school. The hallways were filled by the rumors, true and false. Then I became the "hoe" of the county.  The girls around me were also under some spell. They felt threatened by me and wanted to fight me. I was outcasted and shamed by large groups of people. After a series of socially traumatizing events I developed anxiety and shame. However I was not going to stop.  I was determined to find and innerstand myself.. I explored deeply the "bad bitch" consciousness. I felt the power of seducing men into giving me their whole paychecks to see me dance. I felt the power of not having any emotions towards them as I was lead by the desire of getting revenge on how I was taken advantage of. Revenge on men for abusing women and revenge on women for not accepting me. Of course, I did not find myself in this consciousness. All I got was more awareness of how fucked up this society is. I saw how men use women and women use men. On top of that I was in a relationship with yet another psychopath determined to break me completely. My Higher self retrieved me from this situation and this is when I began waking up spiritually. Now, more then ever I was focused on finding the source of the mystical call. Now... more than ever I knew I was on the right path. 

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As my awareness of the spiritual nature of the world and all of life expanded I continued to dance. I continued with my Twerk rituals and they started to feel different than before. I began to feel the beat of the drums, the melodies of music IN my body... in my hips. I began to feel something rise within me as I was moving my body. I innerstood that Twerking and movement in general is wayyyyyy more than just a physical expression of the body. It is a healing ritual. It is life itself. I saw how by moving my hips I could take myself out of stagnancy and ground myself into present moment. I also noticed how transformed I would feel after twerking. My connection with Earth and all of nature grew simultaneously with my connection with my body as a WOMBan. Then, I became aware of the multidimensionality of my body; regarding past and parallel lives and true herstory of what happened on this planet and how much we as humans truly endured. All of these memories are stored in the body. All of the traumas and insane events that took place are STORED IN THE BODY. And when it comes to severe torture of female sexuality.... well I believe a lot of that is stored in our hips. How tense are your hips right now? How comfortable are you moving them? Are you in the body right now? 

We have disassociated out of our body for the longest. For centuries. Because it is not comfortable to get into the body and see all of the memories come up. However, disassociation only causes more fragmentation and disconnection from your authentic power. And that call... you will keep hearing it. That mystical call of something ancient that I have been hearing all my life is the call of the Wild Primordial Mother of all creation. She is within you and she is calling you. Will you answer? 

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Through my own journey of self exploration I innerstood that to find yourself you have to go within your body. Considering my personal experiences in this world I am focused on retrieving the true erotica of the divine feminine. No, not the manipulative succubus. Not the mistress that has no concept of sexual boundaries. No. I am retrieving the original blueprint of the Wild Divine Feminine. She who plays no finite games, she who does not need to manipulate, does not need to compete. She is Creatrix. She is whole within herself. And she is not to be fucked with. I am a priestess of the Wild Primordial Mother of all creation and I believe that through my Twerk offerings I can assist you on your journey of retrieval and empowerment. 

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I do NOT have all the answers. I am on this journey just as you are. I did not yet unlock everything within me and I am very much in the deep process of my soul retrieval. Each moment I am uncovering deeper layers of myself, removing finite programming and restructuring myself into my highest embodiment. I only share with you what I can present on my current level on innerstanding. I am in full service to my Highest Self under the Law of Eternal Life and my offerings are here to facilitate your own self awareness. 

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As I activate myself I birth new offerings to assist you activate yourself. It is an ongoing expanding process. 

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